Well; here we are. Tuesday morning and a busy day ahead with three back to back meetings. Need my head switched on. Woke early to find a text from...Mr Text, my erstwhile dissaffected Brummie friend:
I don't want to do anything involving gratification for myself.
I just want to kiss your whole body, and (when you tell me you're ready) hold your arse and lick your clit for at least an hour, while you grip the back of my head and buck your hips like a wild animal.
Not so much a Fuck Buddy or Friend With Benefits (we've only ever met once and it was all perfectly above board) but more of a Sext Buddy, if indeed such a term exists.
Late 30s, he's also entrenched in a ltr with a (much older) woman who has 'gone off sex' for the past 10 months. I suspect he's still in denial mode, despite my telling him very clearly that without sex, a relationship is on shaky ground. I don't think he hears me.
What started as a mutual interest in French cinema, literature and politics turned into the bizarre situation we now have in front of us, which frankly bears no relation to any of the afore mentioned high falutin' interests. Learning that we both had shared the same unwilling celibacy gave us a connection in more ways than one and so it slid progressively further into such forms of ?intimacy?. Whatever.
I don't love him; I don't want us to get together as a couple and I don't see us having what would be termed a 'proper relationship'. But for the moment, whilst I am in my adjustment phase and moving from long-term unwilling celibate to fully-fledged sexual being - it's enough.
As Survival Tactics go, solo masturbation on the back of such finely honed words will set me up nicely for the day, thank you very much.
Posts
